Tuesday, August 19

solitude

dedicated to the foremost people who are gone

you truly begin to appreciate things in life when they're gone. i feel like i've taken them for granted... the people that mean so much to me.
i can't believe you guys are gone.... (sorry readers, i am going to be extremely redundant with "remember".. just warning you guys!!)

david - for a major portion of the year, you were like my best friend. i could tell you anything, and you told me your lame secrets. it was so cute in a dorkish kind of way. i remember when we had p.e. together, and we dreaded c... and we mocked j's voice. oh god, and those awesome cousin days! oh, and when you cried, and i told lisa it was her fault? davidio (lol, old school!), even though you lost/broke lots of my shit, i forgive you. i hated it when you got into fights with susan. i remember when i explained my internet life to you... i remember when you told me awkward moments. i remember when i cried to you when i didn't get into asb. i remember you told me i was stupid. i remember going to peters with you for gate, and we hated it like fuck! i remember when we went to huntington beach, and you gelled your hair like potato chips smothered in crisco. i remember when it was so amazingly boring hanging out with our friends, yet we'd still wanna hang out with them over and over. i remember ralphs and that wierd disney guy. i remember snooping around your pics and asking, "oh who's this cute guy!? ;)" ewww, mr. kenney's class! i remember when those guys at the cafeteria called you a fag, and i remember getting so mad... i still hate them to this day (and if you are one of those guys, yes i do remember who you are.) i remember venting to you. i remember the first day you moved in, and i will always remember when your mom barged in and screamed at us! oh, and remember when we went on top of your dad's car?! and he whooped our asses.. including me! i'll remember the stories susan told us about you, and how stephanie always took care of you. i also remember when we went on the church playground, and made you swear you wouldn't tell anyone? oh. and the crush club!!! quyen and i were the bomb. bwahahhaah.
then you got actual friends (hehe), and you were rarely home. sometimes it was awkward, sometimes you'd slap my ass like you were here forever. i didn't want you to move even though you made the house really messy... i miss you already. keep in touch brah. have fun at bolsa, bitch! xoxoxo

susan - when i was a kid, i always thought you were in your own world. it was only 'til 2005-2006 where i grew closer to you. i'm going to remember all those amazing times you brought me to (also known as restaurants!). venice beach! seal beach! dana point...beach! laguna niguel! hanging out with diana for days... grubbing off staples/office depot. black friday. stretching out your clothes. commencement. gossiping about others. complaining. telling each other how ugly we are. our big/flat noses. small eyes. my shitty teeth, and your amazingly straight teeth (get this, she never had braces! even our dentist said they were perfect).. get your wisdom teeth out already! i'll remember those movie nights, watching friends for hours! eating pho at 1am, staying up until 7am... you were the first nocturnal person i have ever met! winnie the pooh shit. doing that mouth thing to babies. those korean girls that glared at us!! all we did was laugh it off. you taught me to shrug everything off, and not take things seriously. you are almost my role model, since you're so goddamn independent. and no matter how much times you say it, i am actually scared/intimidated of you. i remember venting to you about my friends, and you'd do the same. prankcalling bingo's! you lecturing me about the internet, so you could get on.
i'll never forget our endless arguments. i'm really sad your gone. stephanie kept on telling me we were like best friends... i don't like to think siblings can be best friends, and besides.. i never really told you about my social life (other than venting), but hey, you're next up on that list!! i miss you so much. btw, don't tell anyone (as you've apparently already told lisa) about me crying. that was personal.. god. but anyway, whatever. send me christmas gifts! have fun in the bay area, hella! hella hella hella hella. remember diana & i sticking our middle fingers at you, susan boozin' losin'! activate your facebook again, i wanna see our pictures together. the closet is so bare without your clothes! sorry about the hangers. sorry for also deleting limewire :P miss you lots, roomie!!

stephanie - what can i say, step-on-me? when i was a kid, you were actually my favorite sister. you were my role model, since you did so well in school. i remember how you don't like hugs, and yet i still hug you all the time when you come down here! i remember you once said my drawings of letters were cute.. so i drew you a whole bunch, and then you got freaked out. good times... i remember when you guys ganged up on me since you found an essay i wrote on how a chick was "hot", yet if a girly/pretty person said "omg shes soo hot~~" it's okay? thanks guys for discriminating. whatever. i remember all those burnt vcds, and you asked us what we wanted. or those surprise visits, and you cussed us out on how messy the house was (blame david! :P). i remember those times when we "lived" in your dorm/apartment.. and how that one time in that big house, i couldn't come and i cried! and then sharon said, "we can be like captain planet!" and i cried more. i remember the time on aim you told us you bleached your hair blonde, and we totally panicked, and you said "april fool's!" i remember all the ucla food! yum! or your spaghetti/lasagna/teriyaki. i remember how you complained to me about them, but i'd never understand. you confronted me about a lot of things, and taught me a lot of things.. i wish i was close to you when i was a child.. or close to any of our sisters. it's such a shame i realize how much i love you guys all when you guys are gone. honestly, susan and i talked about you... we said how we were so happy to see you happy, and we wished you and b get married. good luck with bry bry... long live chubbs! i am glad to do the work for you anytime. i remember how you used me as an example for your personal statement essay for ucla! or, i mean, oo-kluh! :) i always miss when you come home and then you leave us!!! god! i blame david for that too :P oh, and david loves you sosososo much. hahaha. i remember when you drove me to school because i was going to be late! i enjoyed those little moments i shared with you.. hope you come back to oc! and fyi, i did miss you when you moved out. gosh!!!

lisa - lisa, lisa, lisa, lisa!!! i'd say, while growing up, i was closest to you. now i'm in high school, and we barely talk.. let's reminisce. i remember those brookhurst days! chris counted on my best friend at the time (amethyst) while we were on the swings, so he'd be next to me. and then you yelled at him for counting on my friend! those cafeteria meals and when we got seconds... having a share of m's candy, or how your friend v and n said i was cute. hanging out with your sixth grade friends! then when we moved to anaheim... god. that was hell! you went to ralston though... yeah. i remember acting all girly with you, hanging out with your friends.. walking everywhere. when you became asb vice president!! and how vice has a negative connotation. ;) your physics teacher, hahaha. oh fuck, you were the one who taught me how to wear a bra/shave my legs/have a fashion style. i remember how you helped me campaign for treasurer in seventh grade, and i lost miserably. oh my god, being roomies with you at the big house!! we'd always get mad at each other, yet hey.. you got the higher bed! sorry about how klunkers stained your shirts/sheets/blankets... :( thanks for all the grub though, from boiling crab to in & out.. or that time you wanted to bond with me, and took me to tastea. and then the lines were too damn long so we went back. i had my first frozen yogurt/crepes with you, even though you promised me you were going to take us to yogurtland! that never happened, even still. i remember when me and susan saw you chilling with your friends at that one pho place!! or how you vented about how hard asb was, and warning me not to take ap euro. stop trying to get me to go shopping with you! haha. oh and please get over v, and stop trying to entice j! just kidding. arb (that was from quyen by the way!).. oh yeah, and i remember my first curse word to you--"damn". you told me never to say that again :P. look at me now, i almost curse like a sailor (not really). oh, and i assure you i am not a lesbian. i would tell you who i like(d) (other than s!!), but i don't want to. :P
nowadays, you always ask me to hang out with you. seriously though, i don't want to waste money. and besides, i don't like your judging eyes :P. thanks for trying to bond with me, and t is very nice. hahaha. whatever that potato-inside-her-car meant, do whatever! have fun in la jolla/sd, bitch.

i (am going to) miss you all... can't believe we all lived at the same house the same time. hahaha.
mail me some letters, hoes!

xoxo,
j

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