it's official

once i graduate high school and move onto college, i will be leaving the blogosphere community.

my blogs, journals, accounts, etc. will all be deleted or at least hidden/retired. and i have a lot laying around....

goodbye angsty teen jennifer.
goodbye.

on the flip side, i will be purchasing this sweatshirt #1, this sweatshirt #2, this pennant, and this mug.
just a note.

x,
jennifer

past time's pastimes

Receipts - who keeps them?

Unfortunately for my room, I'm a minor hoarder; I keep everything I get just in case that one day I need it. I've been trying to combat this by, er, throwing it away (surprise, surprise). I finally had the guts to take out useless crap in my wallet. (Finally!) And, uh, it was a nice sight.

Above you can see all of my receipts I've kept since freshman year or earlier - I'm not sure. Though the stack probably looks a bit on the skimpy side (I rarely shop for myself), the money spent reported on the receipts calculates to be just a little shy of $400. For 4 years (excluding certain shopping trips and innumerable movie tickets funded by my sister(s)), that's a pretty healthy amount - maybe even less than normal (this stack includes AP test purchases, yearbook, dance tickets, etc.).

When you clean up your room, garage, basement, or what have you, do you ever get distracted by reminiscing, trying to remember where the object came from, getting nostalgic, etc.? That's why it takes me hours to clean up my room.... Similarly, it took me a while just to even look at these receipts. It's amazing what memories are packed with these little motherf'ing pieces of papers. It's amazing how much has happened. It's amazing how I spent so much time with others--shopping, eating out, etc.--in the past, but now we don't even acknowledge each other in the school hallways. It's amazing how much I changed.

Regrettably and gratefully, I changed a lot. Everyday I feel like I'm evolving into this Super Saiyan version, maybe even like the Nega Scott from "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" (sorry fanatics, I mean the movie), of myself. I'm not sure if it's a bad or a good Jennifer, but I know it's a realer me. Granted I lost many friends along the way, this journey has been very humbling. I am much more honest nowadays, and I'm also not that bitchy "I'VE BEEN HOLDING THIS IN FOR SO LONG" Jennifer. I don't really know. I hope it's that banal, inevitable stage in life I've heard so much about: "growing up".

Thank you everyone for the memories, even if we no longer speak. You really paid a part in my past. My present would be so much more different without you, and my future is continuously shaping itself according to the relative past.

Now, onto the more morose thoughts... (what do you expect from teenage angst?)
Not that I necessarily miss the people (everyone changes), but I definitely miss the memories with them. For example, there's a receipt from Journeys for colored striped tube socks. Ah, yes, my summer with my ASB. Can you believe it's been over a year since? It's so hard to believe: it feels like yesterday yet many years ago. We won 1st place for our skit in the county, how incredible. And, I can't believe I actually organized Red Ribbon Week, Pennies for Patients, the canned food drive, etc. (You will only truly understand if you're a part of ASB) IT WAS HARD WORK LOL. But, I learned so much from the experience! And I was so lucky to be a part of--at the time, seemed miserable--such an awesome activity.

I bought some stuff at Victoria's Secret because there was a sale. Right when I saw that receipt, I instantly remembered: I was with Catherine in the summer of 2009. We shopped way too much then. And it just makes me so nostalgic. We've known each other for our 99.999% of our lives (I'm older by 2 weeks), but we actually became friends around 4th grade. We actually became close right before 10th grade, because we had Confirmation and AP European History together. Then, we seriously talked a little too much to each other. But we've gone through thick and thin, and I think I've been in this relationship long enough to say that Catherine has been a huge part of my life. Can you imagine all of that, 17 years worth of memories, rushing back into my head because of some damn receipt?

And though it's not a receipt, my movie ticket stub from a movie this year brings me back. I know, it was only 2010. I watched "Easy A" with Justina and someone else. After the movie, we went to check out CDs and DVDs. At the time, I was really embarrassed because I said things that sounded pretentious and annoying (and the person did the same!). In hindsight, I think it's HILARIOUS. I can't believe I freaked out over Elliott Smith and The Shins. LOL. It's so hard to explain; it's really a thing Justina and I can only talk about....
About 90% of my movie ticket stubs were obtained with Justina. We have gone through so much. She knows so much about me... and each movie we've watched together has been a great experience. Whenever I look at these stubs (once in a blue moon, but it happens), I just am flabbergasted at our relationship. In the 5th grade, I got mad at her because the only secret she would tell me was her fake birthday date. In the 7th grade, she was mad at me, and I apologized by writing her a note. In the 12th grade, we played "WoW" together. Basically,

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED. I can't even type it up in its entirety because it's too personal and lengthy. And I guess I can really sit down and think about it, even type about it, when I'm looking at an artifact from my past.


Still, time is quickly passing by - too quickly. Our time is really coming to an end... just 2 months left of school. I don't have enough time to even spend with my friends I'm most likely never going to see for a very long time, if ever. Before we know it, it's over. They don't know how much they mean to me. What if I all have left of my friends are these lifeless receipts?

i don't know where to go...........................





but i guess i should be happy i even am wondering

"productiveness"

i am now making a vow to myself to not check any college-related forums or sites UNLESS i received an official e-mail about decisions. i'm wasting my time being so antsy ugh

i don't need these colleges, these scholarships, these awards, a home, food, money, anything, everything
i would trade it all just to have you back
the greatest regret in the seventeen years of my stupid fucking life is not spending it with you when i had the chance



when people tell me they don't know what it's like being a "regular" teenager
i just want to scream

in hindsight

oh, yeah, so my poem won 1st place.... i was really happy and even posted on facebook about it. i was so ecstatic because i was thoroughly shocked. poetry is so so so so subjective, and i have my not-even-close-to-perfect scores on poetry annotations to boot. really, a huge part of me is really humiliated. about 99999999% of my poem is autobiographical, though lots of sugar coating. knowing that the whole school population will have access to read into my elementary mind is overwhelming and embarrassing. i know a great number of "cool kids", albeit annoying, will have further proof i'm weird. LOL.

since there's nothing i can do now, i just hope other "regulars" can relate.

also, i hope people or entrants-who-didn't-win aren't wondering why i won. when mrs. cardoza told me, i thought it was my other poem that won. but no, it was this one... the piece (i sound f***ing pretentious even saying that. "piece" LOL) was incredibly unfinished but i decided "WHY THE F*** NOT?" to enter it. i think my poem ("In Hindsight") sounds like i tried too hard. eh, the speaker was the ninth grade jennifer anyway...

//uggggh the more i read it, the more i think it sucks. no, i don't need the compliments. i'm just so befuddled on how this even won...

by the by, i repeat the lips part because i was sometimes teased about my chap,nasty,cracked,coldsorey lips as a kid. in hindsight, my lips were disgusting. now i have a slight obsession with chapstick and vaseline. eek.



i was actually typing up a blog just to talk about college stuff. i regret not applying to more schools. yes i applied to a lot of them. but none were my "dream schools" and i regret not even trying. oh well... i have 4 years...

oh mr. yoshida part ii

thank you for finding my homework. i'm very pleased i aced the final and got a b in the class. an f to a b is a mighty fine improvement, so i'm fine not acing the class.

oh mr. yoshida

mr. yoshida, what pain you are causing me..........

currently, my grade stands at a 75.19%, without the two homework assignments you cannot find. if they were put in, i would have a 77.69%.

i would have an 80.17% if i just get an 80% for the next tests. and i know i won't do that badly... but only if you find my homework.

if you don't... i would only get a 77.64% at the end of this semester.

why mr. yoshida... whyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you said, "what's the point of me finding it, spending lots of time and looking everywhere when you might have actually just never turned it in?"
i wish i didn't come in right before 4th period (though i have pre-cal for 1st period). i wish i didn't come late so i could turn it in during 1st. and at this point, i wish i didn't even turn it in.

because, i have never missed a stamp since the time i went in for tutoring. that means i've done all my work, with a stamp for proof. if i never turned it in, at least i can turn it in now for 95% of the credit (you didn't stamp an assignment, i believe, and i needed to turn it in the day it's due for full credit. but as long as there's a stamp, i'd get full credit). but no. because i turned it in, i can't find it. i still gave you the benefit of the doubt by looking in my locker, room, backpack, binder, textbook, etc.
not there.

i wish you were right, so my grade would rise ~1.7% instead of the 2%, just for partial credit.
but since i did turn it in (i even remember what i was doing when i gave it to you, who said hi to me in your room, my feelings at the time...), i won't get any partial credit.

i'm just hoping you'll let me make it up, but i know you won't because then you'll assume that i didn't do it the whole time.

please, please, please, i hope my homework magically shows up on your desk.

it's my choice to make the best out of a bad day

i am so boring

some days i feel like everything sucks
but not in a sad way
a really pissed off way.
everything-makes-me-angry days.
i wish i didn't have any family
friends
burdens

i just want to be alone

some days

there's still time for some new year's resolutions.
i hate doing these because they are rarely successful.
i end up writing down 129038123+ resolutions.
hm

1. stop procrastinating
2. stop cursing
3. stop getting seconds
4. stop playing the computer for more than one hour a day
5. stop lurking
6. stop being so angry and stubborn. let it go. breathe. make more friends.
7. stick with commitments
8. no. more. flaking.
9. be more clean
   

Guilty Pleasures

i ended up opening facebook again. i'm probably going to deactivate/reactivate it like crazy.

ugh! why must forever 21 be so freakin' cheap?! i just bought a pair of jeans because... $7!? who can refuse such a deal. why why why why why........ why must it be sweat shop made :(

Transitions

I hate my little tastes. They always change so quickly. For example, I frequently need to update my iPod Shuffle and phone's music library. Ugh.... Everything gets so boring.

No more AIM/Facebook for awhile. lol

1.2 pounds down!! Yay!

Life

It's an exhausting thing, isn't it? It's my last year in high school. Exhilarating. Not really. It's actually frightening. I feel like a kid again. I'm so small in this really big world. Er, as Sagan calls it, a pale blue dot.

The past few years in high school have taught me a lot of crap. I struggled to find myself--my identity, who the hell I was. I still don't really know for sure. But hey, I'm 16. I don't have my driver's license, er, and a permit at that. Haha, using age as an excuse. I make myself laugh.

Well, you get my point. I do have a general sense.

At the start of high school, I thought it would be the change of things. I look back at these 3-4 years and have I changed! It's exactly not what I expected or wanted, but I'll accept it. Physically, I'm still atrocious but a bit more on the larger side. Who am I kidding. I gained _0 pounds since freshmen year. And mentally? Holy crap. I can't even begin.

Friends. Friends. Friends. We've had our ups and downs. Most of you guys I don't speak to anymore. Some I hate--just kidding, love (and of course, get annoyed at ever so often). Some disproved my initial judgment. The list goes on.

I'm exhausted. The fact that 3 AM is the "ghost hour"--the time your body is the weakest--doesn't help.

And really, school can be such a burden.

I'll try to update my blog when I have time. Once a week sounds good...

Lunar New Year Resolutions & Lent Sacrifices

I am proud to be Vietnamese for many reasons. For one obvious reason, we get to celebrate Tet (Lunar New Year/Chinese New Year). Other than the money, Tet is really cool because it gives us opportunities for a "new" fresh year! This means another chance for new beginnings and changes... With Lent around, we can sacrifice our vices. I'm really stoked about this season! Let's hope some great changes emit from this!

My personal goals

1. Do not eat after 7PM.
2. Eat less than 1200 calories a day. Maintain a food diary to keep track.
   
3. Bike/walk everyday to school and home.
4. Leave the house by 7:30AM.
   
5. Play the internet for a maximum of 1 hour a day. If I complete all my assignments, I may play for an extra hour. Doing homework on the computer does not constitute the playing time.
6. Do not curse... or at least minimize it to 3 times a day. Yep, only 3 curses... let's see if I can do this.
   
7. STOP COMPLAINING. I always fail this.
8. Clean my room for 25 minutes a day.
9. Have an organized desk/binder/backpack.
   
10. Study for SAT/ACT for 25 minutes every day.
11. Finish all ASB business at least 1 month before the actual event comes.
12. Set up my dentist appointments to get my wisdom teeth extracted.
13. Finish my driver's education course. Well, first sign up for it.
14. Sleep by 11PM.
15. Do all extra credit for my courses.
    
16. Maintain personal hygiene everyday: face routine, hair routine, teeth routine, eyebrows/otherfacialhair routine :D.
17. Don't hang out too much. Restrict hangouts to free kickbacks.
18. Enter in at least one scholarship.
19. Stop being a pushover.
20. Tie up loose ends; achieve closure.
21. Have a great day everyday. Smile lots. Laugh more. Greet my teachers. Bond more with people.

If I do not commit to these acts of self-denial or goals, I will do 40 jumping jacks and 10 crunches (for each one). :D

Sorry for not posting here that often. I'll try to get back on here, when my posts are too long! I have a LiveJournal & Tumblr now... so check up on that. :) I'm also a part of a Tumblr collaboration.

I hope you guys are having such goals as I am. Aim high, guys! That one quote goes something like, aim for the stars so if you don't make it you'll fall onto clouds.. or something.

Here are some ideas if you don't have some down already:

(credits to Tumblr)

Good luck everyone. See you later!

xoxo,
j

consistency

i deeply apologize for my long hiatuses i seem to unintentionally have. sometimes i really have no time!
now i'm really trying to get onto the bandwagon with twitter, so feel free to look on the right side to see what i'm doing. ^___________^
my username is preclude, so please add me or whatever it is! (:
happy birthdays to my sisters, susan (april 11th) and lisa (april 10th).
i will miss you spring break!!! :/
must. start. on. CHEM EXTRA CREDIT!
okay i promise my next blog posts won't be so short/lame/useless.
thanks for reading............... ;)

xoxo,
j

foreign

Stranger: i wanna visit california

You: you should

You: it's hot here

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: my accent will get a lot of girls

You: haahha DEF!

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: Might have sex for the 1st time too!

You: awwww how cute

You: how old are you

Stranger: 18

You: whoa

You: O___O

Stranger: what?

You: :P late bloomer ;-)

Stranger: ...

Stranger: you fucking americans always fuck

Stranger: fuck fuck fuck

what happened!

eudaemonia

here is my long-awaited entry on... sophomore class! FINALLY! this was written on january 24, 2009. give it a go... and i'll post another entry later today, hopefully.
--

I’m not going to do Junior Class (Class next year), so hear me out!
I’m going to miss our ‘lil’ Sophomore Class of 2011 soooo fucking much.

Homecoming Assembly was SICK! Homecoming week was a freaking blast, from Early Bird to the Assembly. Man, did waking up at 4 AM everyday SUCK or what (: ? All of our hard work paid off! From the dances, to the painting, to the choreographing-the-backdrops-the-day-befo

re-the-assembly! Spending hooourrrrs, watching Korean dramas, eating dry noodles, painting on people who’ve fallen asleep (Sylvia!), messing around, etc. Even though we stressed out so much, and worked past midnight, hearing we received Second Place was INCREDIBLE. When Sylvia told us on the phone, Dukim, Hieu, and I started SCREAMING in the streets (walking to the football stadium for the homecoming game, fnl much!)! Backdrops were so hard (horizontal boxes?!), and kudos to the backdrop holders learning everything a day before. The theme was factions of Disneyland Park, and we did Tomorrowland. ONE ONE!

Winterfest Assembly was so stressful. Strangely, we didn’t worry how the deadline was coming up soooo soon. We barely had any time, and we officially ended our “meetings” at 8-9PM (compared to midnight up to one, before). And Winterfest last year was “worse” (in context of stressing out). Backdrops were sooo risky. We tried doing a new idea of a pop-up book, to appeal the children. The idea was great, BUT HOW MUCH DID THAT SUCK! Pop-ups didn’t stick up as they should’ve, and the props were so hard to attach onto the boards. AND WHEN ONE OF OUR BOARDS BROKE IN HALF (claudia seriously needs to post the vid). Sigh, and we didn’t work on the backdrops as much as we did on Homecoming (which is most likely why we got third place this time. But I’m cool with it, as long as Winterfest week is overrrr!). It was sloppy, but I still adore our hard work on the backdrops! The dances were really cute, in my opinion. I cannot believe the four main characters, the kids, Brunhilde, Carlyle, Dave, and Captain Crunch (played by Quynh, Nyvia, Hieu, and Claudia) learned the “Tortilla Chips” dance a day before morning practice! I wish “Fresh” wasn’t messy when we changed formations, and I guess we didn’t clean enough at the end. But working our muscles off was worth it. “Mikey Rocks” was probably the BEST dance, and it was so nicely done by the pirates (Sylvia, Dukim, Tim, Jordan, Kathy, Krista, and Zoe—Jean LaFoote)! “American Boy” dance was done by the animals (Lobster—Priscilla & I, Octopi—Cherie & Jamie, Sharks—Binnie & Tam), kids, and the Cap’n, and we always tried to clean. Oh my gosh, our costumes! Haha! I love our family! (: “Hit, hit, hit!” Kiiiick high! We got third place, and it’s cool! The theme was cereal, and we did Cap’n Crunch. CRUNCHITIZE ME, CAP’N!

Food Fair was weirdly ironic! Always buying so little, and selling out a bit after the bell rings. I’m so sorry Sylvia for not doing a good job as the ICC Commissioner. Like, McDonalds?!?! Sorry!!! Not handing out straws quickly enough, doing everything last minute, maaaan… Nonetheless, I really appreciate my position. Blood is thicker than water, right?!

Good job, BACKDROP ELEVEN! Good job, COMMISSIONERS! And an extremely, EXTREMELY fucking great job, OFFFFFIICCCEEERRRS!
Sylvia for being the BAD-ASS president (in other words, a very great leader) and dealing with us stupid commissioners every time. Heheh, and we’ll never forget your obnoxious laugh and “omg-i-needa-pee” jig. Kudos for having sucha backbone, and dealing with eveerrrryyyttthiiiiiiiiiiing. Where would the Class of 2011 eleven be without you!!!.... Seriously. :o WE NEEEED YEWWW (:! You’re prob so annoyed by that now. Hahaha! Thanks for giving me TONS AND TONS OF RIDES, and thank you so much to your family (like when your mother put a damp cloth on Hieu’s and my face to wake us up) ;).
Claudia for being a GREAT vice president. Our sarcastic relief to the gang, ahaha. And letting us use your house, even when other competing Class commissioners spied on us! And your FUNNY AWESOME father. Dried noodles and K. dramas would be nothing without you! And how we stayed up sooo late... and taking pictures of me/us without permission. HUH, I HATE CANDIDS. rofl!! It wouldn’t been as fun without ya!
Nyvia for being an AWESOME secretary. You are soo funny! I wish you didn’t live so far, so you could stay up with us. I’ve written you twice on my planner: the one I showed you and one that says NYVIA IS AWESOME :D! And sometimes you can be SO so serious! I wished I talked to you more at Winterfest, compared to Homecoming haha. Quyen’s house on bitter cold mornings and you guys practicing the Star Tours dance. You are the cute little one of Class, hehe C:!
And last, but not least, our STRONG treasurer CHERIE! I can’t help but admit that you are great at crunching the numbers. And how you laugh waaay after everyone else does, and how you’re easily amused—WHY WE LOVE YOU! You are very smart and sooo calm and relaxed. I wish I could see you mad when you’re angry at… certain people :B. I loved how you confront people without using harsh words. And when the ASB people were out, you led us so well! I miss doing posters with you!

To those considering joining, I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO SO! It’s hella fun, and you meet great people! Please keep in mind that there will be drama on the way (shrug it off), you’re going to loosen the purse strings whether you like it or not (no reimbursements, people!), and it is incredibly time-consuming. and PLEASE, PLEASE wash your paintbrushes after you use them, LOL!!! Be considerate to those who stay back and have to clean your messes (throw away your SHIT)! BE RESPECTFUL TO YOUR OFFICERS, and listen to them. And, whatever you do, get ready to be COMMITTED, ‘cause it’ll feel like a lifetime—an opportunity of a lifetime, too. Remember to always wear shitty clothes, ‘cause those bastards are gonna get staaaaaiiined! And, to the artists, DANCE! Trust me, it’s really fun and FUNNY. Everyone’s gonna mess up on their first time. Also, there is FABULOUS choreography ahead of you. Backdrop holders, you’re going to have to have a good memory. And the holders are extremely important, whether you’re seen or not. Every person or help is appreciated (volunteers for Early Bird?!), and it is sooo fun. Open this door and join the Class of 2011!

I will miss Sophomore Class! I LOVE YOU GUYS. I dunno why but I feel like I haven’t written enough. Perhaps the experience is just, indescribable?!
ELEVEN, ELEVEN, ELEVEN!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DicFIth_zqU&feature=channel_page
I wish our Homecoming Assembly was recorded.
http://www.myspace.com/the2011class/

xoxo,
Jennifer NMI N.
(soon to be former) Class of 2011’s ICC Commissioner (Freshman Class, Sophomore Class)

P.S. to the junior class of 2011 cabinet (meaning, next year): PLEASE DON'T EVER DO THE ROLLING BOXES THE OTHER CLASSES DO! Not because it's ugly or anything--it's great and all, but generic. I know we're worth more than that! ;). Even if it's a different idea and it sucks, at least we tried something new?! And if you guys wanna really be "safe than sorry", stick to our homecoming idea. (: If you guys wanna do the ORIGINAL homecoming idea that we trashed a few days before the homecoming assembly, GO FOR IT. You guys will be and look awesome, no matter if you guys score 4th or 1st!