deviant

vgotskypiaget: wabababaaa

vgotskypiaget: you have reached 1-800-PSY-LINE

vgotskypiaget: if you are OCD,

vgotskypiaget: please press 1 repeatedly

vgotskypiaget: if you are co-dependent, please have someone press two for you

vgotskypiaget: if you have Dissociative Identity Disorder, please have your identities press 3, 4, 5 for you

vgotskypiaget: if you have amnesia, please press 6; press 6; press 6; press 6; press 6; press 6; press 6

vgotskypiaget: if you have schizophrenia, please listen to your inner voice; it will tell you which button to press

vgotskypiaget: If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969.

vgotskypiaget: If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.

vgotskypiaget: If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator. There are 200 calls ahead of you.

vgotskypiaget: If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

vgotskypiaget: If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

vgotskypiaget: If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

vgotskypiaget: Please press something or don't press something now to be put to the next available operator who has a degree in these sorts of stuff.

xoxo,
j

p.s.

vgotskypiaget: thank you very much

vgotskypiaget: we hope that advice was useful

vgotskypiaget: we will be charging you $400

vgotskypiaget: thank you

vgotskypiaget: please don't call back again